That cliche “not all heroes wear capes,” well that applies to Mike, the bear-wrangling, self-preservation lacking, Pennsylvania man who saved an outside gathering from mauling by treating a bear like a large dog.
It goes without saying that everyone was freaked the hell out. They’re just chilling on Lake Harmony in, quite frankly, the dopest lakeside setup I’ve ever seen, when a black bear just wandered in — presumably looking for snacks.
It’s here that Mike enters the picture. Calmly, and fully relaxed he directs the bear around their spot, pointing as he goes towards the gate. It’s essentially what I do every time my dogs needs to pee, except in bear form.
Sure, Mike takes a big old bear swipe that damn near cleaves his shorts in two, but he takes it all in stride. This is a man who understands sudden movements and freaking out will only provoke the bear, and there are always more shorts at TJ Maxx.
I’m in awe. I honestly don’t know if this is the dumbest or smartest thing anyone could do. I mean, nobody got mauled by a bear so it worked out well. The real question is whether Mike’s bravery came from some amazing bear knowledge, or he was just too drunk to comprehend he was wrangling a bear by a lake.